Growth

I used to think growth is defined, bet you do to.

I used to think growth is linear, i bet you do to.

I used to think I could hold of on growth, I bet you do to.

I demystified my thoughts and that is why we are here.

I have a Youtube channel (and i have referenced it like twice now) I used to be so sad when i felt like i needed to change the structure of the channel and do something different because it felt like I’m abandoning something that i had promised myself to do. That definitely led me to a point where i literally had no clarity on the direction i wanted to pursue with the whole Youtube thing and ever so often i just left for so many months on end to just come and do the same thing and be mad and unhappy about it.

Whenever i feel like I’m starting to get uncomfortable i know its time for change and it starts eating me up.

Now that we’ve brought the idea of change, lets talk about it. Change is uncomfortable and if you tell yourself otherwise unajigaslight. Change is uncomfortable because it comes with unfamiliarity and more than that it comes with some sort of loss that you need to deal with. I love talking about topics that I am knowledgeable about so i am gloating now. As we were in class learning about loss and grief(teaching ourselves because this lecturer decided to do us dirty)one of the major things that i learned is that grief is caused by any form of loss and that as long as you are able to go through the whole process you eventually get to a point you can continue with life.

Side quest. The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargain,depression and acceptance. You don’t experience all of them at once and its not cyclic. So even in moving to other things allow yourself to feel some type of way , eventually you’ll be okay.

Clarity in different seasons of growth is rarely ever there as you are starting, you get it as you lean towards wherever you are moving. And its okay for you to second guess yourself and at the same time move forward, that's the duality of life.

Like my friend Vanessa loves to say flower child its time to bloom,remember that growth is beautiful, painful but beautiful and it is a necessary “evil”. You deciding to stay where you are is you allowing yourself to be like stagnant water,(stagnant water becomes stale water just saying just saying)

Growth is not defined, you need to define it for yourself,you have to be intentional about the work you need to do.

Growth is not always linear. You going like forty steps ahead and you going back slightly does not negate your growth. You chose to continue your growth journey, you pick yourself up and move forward.

Growth is inevitable, if you don’t allow yourself to grow slowly you will just grow up as fast as possible so that you can handle whatever situation you need to. Allow yourself to grow slowly instead.

Go forth and choose to grow.

Yep bye ❤

With love, Nicole.